Noahs days!!

Noah in Modern Times

Here's a funny modern day take on Noah's Ark. It's just for a laugh, so please don't take it too seriously :)

And the Lord spoke to Noah & said: "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water & all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark."

And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for the Ark.

"OK," said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints.

"Six months, and it starts to rain, "thundered the Lord. "You'd better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time."

And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark.

"Noah," shouted the Lord, "where is my Ark?" A lighting bolt crashed to the ground next to Noah.

"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems.

First I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn't meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans.

Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system.

My neighbors objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.

Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I had to convince U.S.Fish and Wildlife that I needed wood to save the owls. But they wouldn't let me catch any owls. So no owls.

Then the carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now we have 16 carpenters going on the boat and still no owls.

Then I started gathering up animals, and got sued by animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind.

Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being.

Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe.

Right now I'm still trying to resolve a complaint from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over how many Croatians I'm supposed to hire, the IRS has seized all my assets claiming I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and I just got a notice from the state about owing some kind of use tax.

I really don't think I can finish your Ark for at least another five years," Noah wailed.

The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky.

Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth?" Noah asked, hopefully.

"No," said the Lord sadly, "The government already has."

DECISIONS

"... for the day of the Lord is near in the valley of DECISION."
Joel 3:14

“The more lucrative opportunities of the world of today and tomorrow will go to those who prepare themselves for leadership in their chosen calling.” Napoleon Hill

Decision precedes destiny. Lack of decision frustrates destiny. Decision plus direction is equal to destiny. Destiny requires the wheel on which TO travels to you. One right decision can make you and one wrong decisiom can mar you. Indecision has killed more dreams than an average train wreck.

Hear one of America's richest and most successful leaders of the 20th Century, Andrew Carnegie –

“It has been my experience that a man who cannot reach a decision
promptly, after he has all of the necessary facts for decision at hand,
cannot be depended upon to carry through any decision he may
make. I have also discovered that men who reach decisions promptly
usually have the capacity to move with definiteness of purpose in
other circumstances”

Destiny is a product of the sum total of your decisions. The deciding factor in every victory is what you do rather than what others do. What you do with the opportunities that God has given to you is the key to your overwhelming victory.

Stop doubting God’s promises. Stop looking up to others for what only you can do. When you seize your opportunities, men will make a way for you. Even the elements will line up themselves for your inspection. Nothing can stop a man who is ready for his destiny.

It is my prayer that you will offer your generation solutions. May you be a carrier of hope, of joy and of tremendous capacity for good.

Get ready for a turnaround in your life this week. There is a miracle with your name on it in Jesus name. Receive it now in Jesus name. Am waiting for your testimonies. I want to hear from you this week.

"It's Time to Take Off the Mask"

"For WHATEVER IS HIDDEN IS MEANT TO BE DISCLOSED, and WHATEVER IS CONCEALED IS MEANT TO BE BROUGHT OUT INTO THE OPEN". Jesus, Mark 4:22 NIV (Capitals are mine for emphasis) SINCE THEY DID NOT HAVE ANOTHER CHIMP TO TAKE HIS PLACE, THEY DECIDED TO PUT A HUMAN BEING IN A CHIMP SUIT TO ENTERTAIN THE VISITORS Recently I heard a story about a man who was out of work. In order to pay his bills and support his family, he was desperate for any kind of employment. Finally, he found a job at the local zoo. The chimpanzee, who had been a popular attraction, had died. Since they did not have another chimp to take his place, they decided to put a human being in a chimp suit to entertain the visitors. He would beat his chest, eat bananas and make all kinds of gestures to the delight of the crowd, who did not realize that it was not a real chimp, but a man in a chimpanzee suit. WHEN THE LION HAD HIM CORNERED, HE THOUGHT THAT HE WAS GOING TO BE KILLED AND EATEN One day during his performance, he was not too careful, lost his balance, and fell into the lion's cage. The lion lunged at him and roared. The man in the chimp suit ran in fear for his life. When the lion had him cornered, he thought that he was going to be killed and eaten. At this point, the man in the chimp suit, cried out, "Stop! I'm not a chimpanzee. I am a man. Don't kill me". To which the lion replied, "Shut up, you fool. You'll get us both fired". WHAT WOULD BE REVEALED IF EVERYONE IN A NEIGHBORHOOD, A WORKPLACE, A CHURCH, A UNIVERSITY, OR A SPORTS TEAM WERE EXPOSED FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE? As it turned out, the man in the chimp suit was not the only impostor. How many people are hiding their true identify behind a mask? What would be revealed if everyone in a neighborhood, a workplace, a church, a university, or a sports team were exposed for who they really are? What do they do when they think that no one is looking or listening? How many husbands or wives have been shocked to discover what their mate is really like after the honeymoon is over? How many have misrepresented themselves during their courtship in order to win over the other person, only to have their true character later exposed? GAMBLING ADDICTIONS AND MAFIA CONNECTIONS ARE HIDDEN BEHIND THE FACADE OF MULTIMILLION DOLLAR CASINOS AND ENTERTAINMENT CENTERS Today, In some American teen cultures, it is popular for even young men to wear make-up. How could this be? Rejection and emotional wounds have cut so deeply into their psyche that they do not want anyone to see them as they actually are. Gambling addictions and mafia connections are hidden behind the facade of multimillion dollar casinos and entertainment centers. There are men who have become morbidly obese due to the fact that they have suffered some type of rejection from a member of the opposite sex, and their excess weight is "a form of protection from getting too close to another person, and once again being hurt". (I am not talking about those with medical problems who have no control over their weight.) IT IS COMMON PRACTICE FOR CRIMINALS IN ROBBING BANKS TO WEAR MASKS TO CONCEAL THEIR IDENTITIES In Africa, masks carved out of wood are popular souvenirs. In times past, they were used during tribal conflicts, thinking that the fierce countenance on the warrior's face would scare the enemy. During Halloween, children wear masks to disguise their identities while they go from door to door, saying "Trick or treat". In some wealthy societies, men and women wear elaborate costumes in what are known as masquerade parties, with face masks to cause the other guests to try and guess who is who. It is common practice for criminals in robbing banks to wear masks to conceal their identities so as not to be later known when what has been recorded on hidden cameras is later viewed by the police. TRANSPARENCY IS WHAT OTHERS ARE LOOKING FOR IN US With so many moral failures in the world and in the church, people are shocked when they find out that leaders who professed to be one thing, were "leading a double-life". It is time for all of us to look in the mirror--the Word of God--and see ourselves for who we are without any high-sounding titles, fancy clothes, impressive positions or emotional masks. Transparency is what others are looking for in us. We are by no means "finished products", but still "under construction". Let each of us be what we are without glossing it over. And where improvements and changes need to be made, we can do them without any cover-ups "by the grace of God".

Bishop Marvin Schmidt

World Changers International

"Making a Difference in Our World"

IT IS NOT TITLE BUT UNCTION FOR ACTION

Title cannot by itself dignify anybody. We are living in a day that the only key to being a tremendous blessing is not a title, but TREASURE. Many in the ministry assume that if they can award themselves a high title, they will automatically command people's respect. I got news for you - If you are a nobody, and you take the Bishop title, you will only succeed in becoming a Bishop nobody. The flowing robes, so elegantly tailored and the three-decker - caps will not be able to make anybody out of you if you are not anybody before you put them on. With all its delicate dignity, the paraphernalia of the Bishopric is grossly inadequate an equipment to the high calling we have to affect our generation with the gospel of life.

Titles don't make you function. It is the auction that you need to function. Your asset does not lie in the titles before your name or the degrees after your name. The screaming needs of the nations cannot be met with great-sounding, ego-satisfying titles, you need more than titles or degrees to affect your generation. The world is not waiting for the man with the longest titles but the man with a convicting revelation, the man with a burden-lifting, yoke-destroying revelation In his mouth.

If you want to affect lives, touch your generation and make a difference, all you need is revelation in your mouth, faith in your heart and the willingness to put the hard currency of hard work behind it.

Titles can became a debilitating liability. I was a guest speaker in a large meeting a few years ago. Another man was to speak before me. He was introduced as a Bishop. Obviously, the people's expectation was high. We soon found out that all he was anointed for was to put people to sleep. My only regret of sharing the platform with him that night was that,
I had the singular honour of "virtually raising the dead back to life." I am sure that if he had the humility, to be introduced by a more humble title, the people could nave been more understanding. But how could they understand a Bishop who could not speak good, clear English? How could they understand a man who spent the greater part of his pulpit time
recounting the number of cars he has, the numerous designer shoes he has collected, the breakfasts, lunches, and buffets he had enjoyed at Sheraton Hotel.

The greatest tragedy in life is to have title without treasure, status without substance and honour without humility.

It is my prayer that you will offer your generation solutions. May you be a carrier of hope, of joy and of tremendous
capacity.

Get ready for a turnaround in your life this week. There is a miracle with your name on it in Jesus name. Receive it now in Jesus name. Am waiting for your testimonies. I want to hear from you this week.

FAITH WITHOUT WORK IS DEAD

"Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.." James 2:17a

Many have so many great, noble dreams but they wonder why those dreams have not become realities. They have great, exciting dreams but live like they would be glad to have whatever the world offers them. An old adage says, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." They have dreams of living as kings on earth but would, in reality live as paupers all

Great men do not become great only by the quality of their dreams. It is the quality of work they apply to the quality of their dreams that produce quality accomplishment. Dr. Schuller says you must never allow anybody tell you to take care. They may be good intentioned but good intentions have never brought dreams to reality. To take care, to take it easy is not an appropriate attitude for those that have dreams to fulfill. Frankly, those who take it easy never go anywhere. They never affect their generation. To take it easy robs life of a sense of urgency without which visions and dreams cannot be realized. For the achiever, life must have a sense of urgency - can't wait to touch lives, can't wait to give to the world something of value, can't wait for barriers to be broken, new territories to be taken, new areas to be developed.

Take a chance! Take a risk! The greatest inventions in human history were made by men who took chances as well as risks. The risk of failure is the test of the validity of a vision. If a dream does not have a risk of failure, it will never be a blessing to humanity. If it can't fail, then, it can't succeed.

Many are living on the low land of mediocrity because they feel safe. They will not venture into 'high risk' areas so that they do not fail. It is better to fail in attempting to do something great than to succeed at doing little or r nothing.
We have computers today because somebody took a chance. We have aeroplanes today because somebody took a risk. We ride cars today because somebody took a chance. People go to the moon today because somebody took a chance. We enjoy electricity today because somebody took a chance. We use the phone because somebody took a chance. Every facility we enjoy today is because somebody took a chance.

You too, take a chance and win. Take a risk and became a hero.

Take charge and take control. Many people wait for a lucky turn of fortune. Luck has produced more failures than anything else. Have you not heard many people excuse their empty lives by the refrain, "I just happen to be unlucky." Those who rely on luck will never do anything meaningful with their lives.

Am believing God for you this week. There is a miracle with your name on it in Jesus name.

OVERCOMING TEMPTATION

overcoming temptation

Good morning, this morning i would like to share with you overcoming temptation please can we turn in our bibles to Matthew 26:36-40

Then Jesus went with them to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and he said, “Sit here while I go over there to pray.” ³⁷He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James and John, and he became anguished and distressed. ³⁸ He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” ³⁹ He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” ⁴⁰ Then he returned to the disciples and found them asleep. He said to Peter, “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? ⁴¹Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!”

This is where we see what the human heart is really like, the Lord has asked them to watch while he prays

The Lord returns to them asleep and his words Keep watch and pray so you do not fall into temptation.

This is the problem the Spirit is willing but the body is weak

I say that again the spirit is willing but the Body is weak⁴² Then Jesus left them a second time and prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away^[g] unless I drink it, your will be done.” ⁴³ When he returned to them again, he found them sleeping, for they couldn’t keep their eyes open. ⁴⁴ So he went to pray a third time, saying the same things again. ⁴⁵ Then he came to the disciples and said, “Go ahead and sleep. Have your rest. But look—the time has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. ⁴⁶ Up, let’s be going. Look, my betrayer is here!”

See the picture appearing here three times he has asked them to be watch and not to fall into temptation but all they can do is sleep.

Jesus word be careful that you do not fall into temptation

So what does the dictionary say about temptation?

Oxford dictionary says this

the desire to do or have something that you know is bad or wrong

a thing that makes somebody want to do or have something that they know is bad or wrong

This has a ring in every mans/ womans ear from the king of Kings , do not fall into temptation

Sow a temptation– reap an thought

Sow a thought – reap a habit

Sow a habit – reap a lifestyle

Sow a lifestyle – reap a bondage

Don’t think it is easy to break a bondage

When temptation comes knocking at the door we need to say NO

There are four key fact about temptation

Key 1

1 John 2:15-17

¹⁵ Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. ¹⁶ For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world.¹⁷ And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

We bog ourselves down with the things of the world we want a big house a nice car, we want that gives a nice outward appearance but these things are only temporal and fade away concentrate on the things of God and all else will fall into place, from this we learn the fact that Temptation is triggered by the lust of life and for the lust of the things of this world. And i can verify that i once had this draw, “all i once held dear built my life upon that this world reveres and longs to own” these lines from a song sum it up the world is drawn to me me me but knowing Jesus is the only incentive for each one of us, don’t get drawn into lusts that are temporal and will fade away.

Hugh hefner was interviewed the owner of playboy who walked around every day in his pyjamas and girls off his arms, some may say he must have been the luckiest man alive, but listen to his words when asked are you happy. “No i want the words of the songs”. So he had everything and was filling his life with every vain thing but he still wasn’t happy.

Key 2

Know your enemy

James 1:13-15

¹³ And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. ¹⁴ Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. ¹⁵ These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

Temptation is rooted deep in our inward desires, when we look back to the garden of Eden, Eve looked at the apple and desired it, David looked from his balcony when he should have been at war and looked at Bathsheba and desired her.

It starts off in our mind as a thought then turns to an action then to a sin,

Don’t be drawn in

Remember the eye is the gate to the heart

We need to switch our filter on and remove the sin while it is still a thought.

So easy to look round and desire the things this life offers

Key 3

Know your enemy

1 Corinthians 7:5

⁵ Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

We are tempted by our own lack of self control and the great tempter and accuser is always there ready to tempt you and make you stumble.

Look how he does it throws subtle thoughts into your head Just the same as he did to Eve, he tempted her with the fruit it was attractive, it could be to drugs for the rich gain, it could be you are addicted to sex, alcohol, you might be addicted to stealing, lying.

Dont give satan a foothold in your life give him an inch he will take the mile and it will be like him coming through tissue paper after he has tempted.

He becomes the accuser saying you have overstepped the mark, you have fallen short, God won’t want you now, your sin has distanced you and before you know it you are believing the lie and falling away from church and it is hard to get back into fellowship.

Know your enemy

Isaiah 14

¹² “How you are fallen from heaven,
O shining star, son of the morning!
You have been thrown down to the earth,
you who destroyed the nations of the world.
¹³ For you said to yourself,
‘I will ascend to heaven and set my throne above God’s stars.
I will preside on the mountain of the gods
far away in the north.^[e]
14 I will climb to the highest heavens
and be like the Most High.’
¹⁵ Instead, you will be brought down to the place of the dead,
down to its lowest depths.
¹⁶ Everyone there will stare at you and ask,
‘Can this be the one who shook the earth
and made the kingdoms of the world tremble?
¹⁷ Is this the one who destroyed the world
and made it into a wasteland?
Is this the king who demolished the world’s greatest cities
and had no mercy on his prisoners?’

Ezekiel 28 gives us more understanding

“You were the model of perfection,
full of wisdom and exquisite in beauty.
¹³ You were in Eden,
the garden of God.
Your clothing was adorned with every precious stone^[b]—
red carnelian, pale-green peridot, white moonstone,
blue-green beryl, onyx, green jasper,
blue lapis lazuli, turquoise, and emerald—
all beautifully crafted for you
and set in the finest gold.
They were given to you
on the day you were created.
¹⁴ I ordained and anointed you
as the mighty angelic guardian.^[c]
You had access to the holy mountain of God
and walked among the stones of fire.

¹⁵ “You were blameless in all you did
from the day you were created
until the day evil was found in you.
¹⁶ Your rich commerce led you to violence,
and you sinned.
So I banished you in disgrace
from the mountain of God.
I expelled you, O mighty guardian,
from your place among the stones of fire.
¹⁷ Your heart was filled with pride
because of all your beauty.
Your wisdom was corrupted
by your love of splendor.
So I threw you to the ground
and exposed you to the curious gaze of kings.
¹⁸ You defiled your sanctuaries
with your many sins and your dishonest trade.
So I brought fire out from within you,
and it consumed you.
I reduced you to ashes on the ground
in the sight of all who were watching.

Satans downfall was pride and thinking he could be like God and his question to Eve, “Did God really say that you would die, you will have just the same knowledge as God has”

Don’t be deceived by your enemy. Stay true to Jesus all times and when temptation comes knocking cast it away.

The last Key, Key 4

Galatians 6:7-8

Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. ⁸ Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.

You reap what you sow, if you harvest a sinful nature you inherit decay and death, if you please the spirit you inherit eternal life.

We get peaks and troughs

The Christian walk will always be up and down if you have a life that is all plain sailing, i would say you are not being effective for the kingdom and are stuck at Key 3.

The best place to look is the Lord at overcoming temptation after being in the desert for forty days and nights he fasted and hungry the tempter came and said if you are the Son of God tell these stones to turn to bread and Jesus replied man shall not live on bread alone but every word that procede from the mouth of God.

Amazing Jesus counteracts with word of God and you need to know your word you need to plant it on your hearts, as the accuser knows the word inside out, and if we don’t read the scripture we will be tempted.

Then Jesus is taken to the top of the temple and told to throw himself off and he will be caught by angels, Jesus replies, “You shall not test the Lord”, then the third temptation written Jesus is whisked to a high mountain so he can see everything and Satan says worship me and all this is yours, Jesus replies Man shall worship God alone.

When the devil comes knocking, Use the scriptures you have put on your heart,

Know the Lord Jesus has been through every temptation we have and was sinless, and pure

Paul sums it up I beat my flesh up daily to keep my spirit on top of my flesh and folks while you are alive you will encounter temptation its the case of making sure you are walking in the right footsteps, those of the Lamb who was slain to take away the sin of the world.

Just remember Christ still has the Nail marks in the hands and feet after his resurrection, so he still holds the signs of the earthly struggles and it is a sign for us to follow by picking up our cross daily

Remember those words

Let them echo in your mind

“WATCH AND PRAY, THAT YOU DO NOT ENTER INTO TEMPTATION”